After I get off the internet I start chatting with a woman who lives in Salem. After I mention I was on the internet looking for accommodation, she says she would offer to have me as a guest, except she has her sister and brother-in-law visiting from interstate. By the time we dock in Salem, she offers me dinner the next night as she is having a dinner party and gives me a lift to the info centre downtown.
And that's just about the end of the good part of Salem.
ACCOMMODATION
Onwards to the tourist info centre (passing a multitude of lame witch shops etc - no, not shops for lame witches, just shops full of crap) to source some accommodation and maybe find some midsummer action. Made a phone call to the Clipper Ship Inn as a guide book said was the cheapest place in town and they quoted $90 plus tax for a night. So headed off to a cafe for food and free wifi to hunt and gather a bit more thoroughly before booking there.
All I can say is what a joke Salem accommodation is. Not only do they cost their rooms according to seasonal demands, but quite often they don't even put in a price for those seasonal fluctuations. Seems the pricing method is to pluck a figure out of the air and see if the sucker is prepared to pay it.
So, rang the Clipper Ship Inn back (not even two hours later) to book a room and am told it is now $95 for a single, five bucks dearer. With taxes that went up to $105.
Had little choice, so booked it and walked the mile or so to the Inn and by now it is 6.30pm. I query them about their pricing structure and why the price jumped $5 in two hours and they try to defend it by saying the other room was no longer available. When I query why the price would change for a "different" room she then puts it down to being seasonal changes. I point out that other Salem motels can put in some guide to the different seasonal prices on their websites. She doesn't have an answer, and when I say I am a freelance journo who will be doing an article about my stay in Salem and would like pricing info to include in my article, she nearly falls over herself trying to finally be polite and helpful - but still doesn't provide pricing info. The main reason for that is that they must pluck the figures out of their arse.
Anyhoo, after I get back to my room at 9.30pm after going walkabouts in Salem, I try to connect to the wifi. No luck. After 15 minutes of frustration, I ring the desk to find out what is going on. She says that everybody else can get it, so she doesn't know why I can't. She says she doesn't know much about the wifi system.
Then when I ring back again to say it still isn't even showing up as an option on my computer, she says to try it outside where the signal is stronger and that others have had to do that when it doesn't penetrate the walls.
So hold on, first she says no-one else has a problem, and then she says others have had to go outside ... which is it? I'm going with the obvious answer that they know wifi is NOT getting through to the rooms yet are still promoting rooms with wifi.
After an hour of frustration of walking outside on the balcony to get a connection, then inside to use it for a minute before it drops out, then outside, inside etc I spit the dummy and put my chair outside and sit out there in my pyjamas with the laptop. Still very slow and dropping in and out. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Finally go to bed after the reception office has long closed, after hours of mucking about with the wifi for little gain.
And AAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - dirty sheets! They are obviously rumpled from previous use and don't feel or smell clean, a squashed moth is in there, and horrors of horrors - a small smudged spot of blood where someone has had a sore or pimple etc drop a speck of blood and smeared it as they rolled over or whatever.
After I get online, I read reviews of similar horror stories there. Never stay at the Clipper Ship Inn, and don't bother going to Salem either.
MIDSUMMER IN WITCH CENTRAL
I can't believe my eyes as I walk through the heart of downtown Salem at 3pm after getting off the ferry. It is the northern summer solstice, the Litha sabbat, and here in Witch Central there is nothing happening apart from a token effort at having a few (three) stalls in the mall and they might be there every day for all I know. And really, it is a good thing they didn't bother much more than that as there are only about ten people who look like tourists and maybe five people who look like residents wandering around.
I should have got the hint about this place and what they think about tourists when I encounter the first set of traffic lights and the bird call they use to indicate it is safe to cross the road is - wait for it - "Cuckoo, cuckoo". Subtle, eh?
And there is no more to tell about Midsummer in Salem.
TOURISTS, STAY HOME
So, now it is the next morning and after checking out at 11am, I am now dragging my cranky arse back into downtown Salem to put my luggage in a locker and have a look around before getting the hell out of there in the arvie. I'm hoping that at least the town in general is worth the effort and cost to get there.
I backtrack into the downtown visitor centre and does this great ediface to tourism have lockers? You bet your booties they don't!
She suggests I try the museum across the road and/or the hotel on the corner. Immediately I'm thinking I don't like my chances at either as I am not a paying guest at the hotel and I don't have time to check out the museum fully for the $15 entry fee they are asking. But, I think it IS a small town, so maybe there is an understanding about providing facilities to tourists. What the f*ck was I thinking? Of course, when I ask each esteemed establishment all I get are two doses of disdain.
Now I am furious! I drag my even crankier arse back to the tourist info centre and "politely" ask her what facilities exactly does this purely tourist destination place provide for tourists? The chickibabe says most tourists book into a hotel and don't need a locker. I feel like she deems me to be a freeloading interloper in this ville ... well that is the red flag!
My voice gets shrill. My eyes narrow. I try to not vent my spleen on her and "calmly" explain that, well yes, I had actually spent money on accommodation in this hicksville place and after sleeping on overpriced dirty sheets I decided to not spend another night here, and I checked out of that fine establishment this morning and am now trying to find somewhere to stow by bags to look around the place a bit better and buy some lunch, BUT now, after there being no lockers and the attitude I have encountered, I will not be staying one minute more or spending a f*cking penny more in this God forsaken town.
Then I ask her about local buses to the train station because it is raining. Her response? It is less than a mile's walk to the station so Salem doesn't need to have a bus service in the downtown area. Tourists can pay $15 for the tour trolley if they need to get around downtown ...
I leave before I hit the bitch.
So, now, I am trudging in the rain, swearing and cursing like crazy under my breath, heading for the train station again. I lug my baggage down the zillion steps and my visual recce before was correct. There is nothing here, and the small shelter above a few benches leaks, so most of the benches are wet. But what else do I see? A f*cking bus! No, not just a bus, but two buses. They do have a bus route to the train station - they just don't run via downtown for tourists and their luggage! Getting crankier by the minute now.
I find out I have to buy the ticket on the train and while chatting with the girl who tells me this, she points out that she was disappointed with the $15 tour trolley ride as they only talk about the history of Salem and nothing about the witch trials etc. THEN, she says it is no wonder as they witch trials didn't even happen here, it was in the next town of Danvers, and the spot is just behind the local Target store there. Of course, the minute she says that, I remember reading the exact same info about it being Danvers and not Salem.
What a rort the city of Salem is pulling on tourists.
The best bit about Salem was getting on that train, paying $5.50 to get back to Boston in 30 minutes, and sitting back and enjoying the free wifi that worked better onboard than in the $105 motel room.
tired? hmm.. ! hope you are wearing flame-proof clothing!!
ReplyDeletemore pics - more pics!!
What a horror of a place! Better days ahead, I hope.
ReplyDeleteEllen