Majestic overload after Plopsville

Kamloops - Kampoops more like it. Not very impressed with this town … reminds me of Clownsville. Spread out, dry and tired looking, quite hot and quite boring. The main street, Victoria St is pretty – but that’s all there is folks!

I think this town is the retirement centre of Canada. Every second shop is a walking aid or mobilised machine store. And every second person needs one. There really isn’t much else to say … except I also noticed quite a few blind people and there must be significant numbers of them here as the traffic walk signals even make an announcement that it is now ok to cross such and such a street. Forget the tweety bird noises. And there is about ten golf courses in a town of about 85,000. That alone seals it as being a retirement destination ...

Anyhoo, I am even less impressed with Kamplops after trying to leave this morning and I have now learnt yet another travelling (or even a life) lesson: When someone tells you that the buses run “regularly” make sure you ask them to define the term “regularly”.

After being in towns and cities where “regularly” meant every five or ten minutes, it isn’t a good thing to assume this same regularity. Not even when you allow nearly an hour and a half on local transport to get to the Greyhound bus depot – which isn’t even 15 minutes by car.

And it doesn’t help that when asking your knowledgeable local person (who initially assured me they were regular) about how long it takes to walk to the bus stop from their house and other questions about the “regular” bus service, she finally says, “I really don’t know anything about it as I have never caught one”… They really were lovely people otherwise, so I shouldn't be too harsh about it, but as you will read this little bit of misinformation nearly gave me a heart attack.

Even worse is when you realise that the 1pm Greyhound departure you had in mind is for the bus on the FOLLOWING leg of the journey and your bus today leaves at 12.10 and it is now 10.12 and you haven’t even packed.

So, in a mild panic already, I check the online schedule at 10.13am and nearly have a hissy fit when I see the buses run only every 30 minutes. BUT, I need to connect with a different line from Downtown Kampooey to Greyhound, that also runs every half hour, but it is not in synchronisation with the previous line, and my initial 15 minute journey may now take 45 minutes.

Panic can quickly set in, when you realise you have less than 30 minutes to pack, take photos of hosts, say farewells, and walk a couple of blocks to catch the 10.42am number one line to connect with the number seven line, to get to the Greyhound depot to catch your 12.10pm bus outta town. And knowing your hosts know how close it is going to be, especially as they gave you a bum steer about the buses, it is a little disconcerting that they don’t offer to give you a lift… again lovely people otherwise ...

And then, despite setting a new land speed record hauling my luggage those couple of blocks to the bus stop, I miss the 10.42am bus because it went through my stop early (!) Now I have to wait another 30 minutes and my 45 minute trip is going to take one hour and 15 minutes and I will get there with only minutes to spare before my bus is due to leave.

Anyhoo, I get the 11.12am number one bus and, and praise the Lord, the number seven bus is already there waiting at the bus interchange, but sans driver. So waiting, waiting, and then panicking for about 12 minutes or so, I ask two local people at the stop if they know if this bus will get me to the Greyhound depot in time for the 12.10pm bus. Oh, no, they say, no way! You need to grab a cab now or you will miss your bus. Where do I go to grab a cab? Is there a taxi stand at this bus interchange hub? Well, no, you have to call the taxi company, we don’t have taxi stands. But I don’t know the number, how do I find out the number? I don’t know, I usually take the bus. So, what am I going to do – how do I get a cab – I have to get that Greyhound bus. I dunno, but you better go catch a cab now or you’re gonna miss it.

All I can imagine is an overhead shot of me, amid the crowd of people (with mobile phones in their hands), with my arms and face upturned to the heavens, and shouting maniacally: "FOR F*CK'S SAKE, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE CALL A TAXI!!!"

But I didn't do that...

So now I am turning into a teapot as the Greyhound bus leaves in 25 minutes and the number seven bus driver is nowhere in sight. Finally just before I have a heart attack the driver turns up and he says, no worries I’ll get to the Greyhound depot in time, he reckons he drops a lot of people there for the 12.10 bus. So I calm down a little and follow the bus route on the map as he drives. Within 10 minutes we are only one block away from the depot and I finally am feeling a bit calmer and can breathe – but then the bus turns in the opposite direction at the lights. What the f*ck!!! It goes and does a big lap through the university and a shopping centre and some more streets.

My hair is turning grey and panic sets in again – was I meant to get off the bus at that stop and walk the block? Is the bus never going to be near the Greyhound bus depot again? I ask the driver and he says no, he goes right to the front door of the depot.

Just before 12 he pulls up across the road from the depot and I had to dodge six lanes of traffic to get across.

Finally get into the queue to get a ticket (no pre-booking or reserving seats) and still can’t relax as it takes forever to get served and it is now 12.10pm and my bus is meant to be leaving. Only once I get served I found out the bus is running late by one hour … and is actually leaving at the time I had initially (and mistakenly) thought it was going to leave. F*ckity!

Putting Kamp Poo behind me, the scenery is something else – once one leaves Kamloops.

I feel like Meg Ryan’s character walking through a little village in France in the movie, A French Kiss – “Stunning, gorgeous, even more beautiful!”

It didn’t take long to get into the high snow capped mountains, clear lakes and rivers, snow on the ground, and forests of different types as pine trees as far as the eye can see. It really is a case of majestic overload.

The road is a triumph in engineering and it makes me sad that Australia does not build more grand infrastructures like this. Comparing the goat track Australia calls the number one highway to just this one mountain road clearly shows how the politicians back in Aus lack any vision or are devoid of any backbone to pursue something remarkable or create anything man made like this that would really put Aus on the map.

I’ll upload piccies tonight, but for now you have to put up with my account in words.

At the dinner stop at a long stretch of servos and fast food outlets in a little town called Golden, I'm scoffing down a hotdog and coffee (very American, eh?) and can hear a loud chirping sound but can't see any type of bird whatsoever or even determine what direction it is coming from.

Eventually notice a little furry thing hovering around the table looking for scraps. It's a Prairie Dog and is the source of the chirping noise. I throw it a crumb, and another one comes out of hiding and then a third. At the same time some people who are sitting in the bus notice what I have going on, and one by one they come out of hiding too to take piccies.

Anyway, even more majestic overload driving onto Banff. Finally get in at 10.20pm, rather than the scheduled 9pm and it is still daylight. Also even though we are surrounded by snow capped mountains, it is probably a very nice 20 - 24 degrees or so. Pleasantly surprised not to be freezing when I step off the bus as it looks very cold.

AND, as soon as I get off the bus, I spot an elk crossing the road! Far out! It is huge! But it quickly disappears into the trees before I can whip out my camera.

And, less impressive, I immediately discover that the locals have a lovely sense of humour. Ask a guy how long it will take to walk to the hostel, and he says about 20 minutes - no worries, I’m trying to work off all the food I ate on the cruise - and off I set.

After 15 minutes, check the directions I wrote down from Google and it is looking like I’ll be there soon. Starting to get dark as the sun had just set, but no worries, not far now.

The only flaw is that the map and the local didn’t mention that after 15 minutes it goes uphill. Maybe not so bad when just walking, but with a day pack on the back, handbag, carry bag, and pulling a case on wheels, well, not my choice of getting there at the end of a long day.

About 20 minutes later and four or five stops to catch breath, it is now just on dark but with street lights around and I am where I think I should be, but can’t see any hostel sign. Spy some people and accost them to see if they know where the hostel is – and I am about 30 metres from the driveway. It was just very badly signed.

Check in, find my six bed dorm and have to immediately search for the actual bed because someone is using it to dry their washing and has draped clothing everywhere. I rearrange their belongings and move the bin they have placed out of the way - but right where my head will be on the lower bunk. Well, I did only get in at 11pm and they probably thought they had it to use for the night.

Sort that out, shower and wash a few things of my own and hang them up around my bed, check the internet and time for sleep about 1am.